Blog entry for Wednesday, May 4, 2005
Purse Snatcher Caught Red Heeled
By Ahneeta Cracker
May 4, 2005
The man responsible for the attack on an unidentified woman yesterday has been captured.
Authorities apprehended Marcus Clark, 33, as he arrived for work at Birds of a Feather, a
popular night club on Fowler Street.
Clark shook his head and snapped his fingers when talking with reporters. “Anyone who
wears red shoes and a black bag is in need of a serious makeover, ya feel me? Girlfriend
yesterday was a walking fashion train wreck. I was just helping her out.”
Clark was arrested while wearing the stolen red heels. The black purse has yet to be
recovered.
In related news, the mayor’s wife is recovering at home after being mistaken for the
attacker by Puffy Chicken. Coupdeville’s stupendous imbecile misidentified Mrs.
Cherry Gumbo due to the red high heels she was wearing at the time.
Mrs. Gumbo suffered a large welt on her buttocks after being shot by a rubber band
launched from a wooden toy gun.
“That chicken is a menace and I will see him run out of this town!” Mayor Rob
Gumbo was reported as saying.
Puffy Chicken was unavailable for comment.
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Okay, this was an honest mistake. The woman fit the description of the would-be-evil-doer.
She was wearing red high heels and was holding an ice cream cone. Anyone standing behind
that tree with me would have thought she was a he from behind.
The Rubber Band of Righteousness is terrible in its quest for justice. Only someone with
something evil to hide would have been susceptible to its stinging blow. The fact that the
woman has a large welt on her…well, she must be hiding something. She’s an
evil-doer in disguise! I will get to the bottom of this yet!
Posted by: Puffy Chicken – 6:42 pm
Comment on this entry
Menace! You’ll pay for what you did to my wife!
Posted by: DaMayorBoyz – 6:45 pm
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Idiot! How could you confuse me for that cow of a woman? I have much better fashion sense
than her. Red shoes and a blue dress? Puhleeze! Girlfriend needs a do-over on that one.
*snapping fingers*
Posted by: ClarkBaby – 6:53 pm
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That was a most impressive display of ‘righteous fury’, my friend. I
haven’t laughed that hard in weeks. Do it again! *rofl*
Posted by: Lame Duck – 6:55 pm
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Lame Duck! Evil doer! You’re going down!
Posted by: Puffy Chicken – 6:57 pm
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I’m shaking in my feathers, Chicken. Come and get me, if you dare!
Posted by: Lame Duck – 6:58 pm
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Tell me where you are and I’ll be there.
Posted by: Puffy Chicken – 6:59 pm
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A dark alley behind a large dumpster.
Posted by: Lame Duck – 7:02 pm
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A dark alley? That’s unsafe. You should be taken to a place of safety.
Posted by: TheCaptain – 7:03 pm
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A dark alley? I won’t fall for your diabolical trap, Duck! I’ll see you in the
morning, when there’s more light to show the full glory of my righteous fury.
Posted by: Puffy Chicken – 7:13 pm